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A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.. The
teacher said it was phusically impossible for a whale to
swallow a human because even though it was a very large
mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that
Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher
reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was
physically impossible. The little girl said, 'When I get to
heaven I will ask Jonah'. The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah
went to hell?' The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.
A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of
children while they were drawing. She would occasionally
walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one
little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the
drawing was. The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.' The
teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks
like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the
girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
Commandments with her five and six year olds. After
explaining the commandment to 'honor' thy Father and thy
Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us
how to treat our brothers and sisters?' Without missing a
beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou
shall not kill.'
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do
the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her
mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in
contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother
and inquisitively asked, 'Well, every time that you do
something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my
hairs turns white.' The little girl thought about this
revelation for a while and then said, 'Momma, how come ALL
of grandma's hairs are white?'
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher
was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group
picture. Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you
are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,'
or ' That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back
of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the
blood.. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now,
class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would
run into it, and I would turn red in the face.' 'Yes,' the class
said.
'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the
ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?' A
little fellow shouted, 'Cause your feet ain't empty.'
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic
elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a
large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the
apple tray:
'Take only ONE . God is watching.' Moving further along the
lunch line, at the other end of the table as large pile of
chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, 'Take all
you want. God is watching the apples.'
It doesn't matter how many people you send this to, just
remember if it made you laugh, your friends will laugh too.
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English
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